BIG BIGLY FITNA. SO BAD, IT MUST BE TYPED IN CAPITALS. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. Salams all. It’s been brought to our attention that a sheikh you’ve never heard of is embarking on a tour of the UK. Our sheikh, whom you’ve also never heard of, has made it clear to us, whom you’ve never met, …
Ooh, I’ve got referrers, how exciting. I must check them out. No, but not by clicking on the link directly. Let’s google your domain. What’s that? It’s a parked domain? No, never! Ah, but only the root. The subdomain is live and kicking, hosted on Digital Ocean, with email provided by Proton Mail, the Swiss …
It’s so refreshing that racism is back in fashion, and we no longer have to obscure our prejudices. For most of the past two decades, we had to pretend that our racism was all about ideology and had some intellectual basis. “My only beef is with Muslamic extremism,” we’d say, certain that none could disagree. …
It is with regret that I have decided to cancel my world tour in protest of cancel culture. Waffle-waffle, something about wokeism, yes I am cutting-egde, risqué, daring-even. The newspapers love this stuff. Oh, and don’t forget to buy my book. See, I am still relevant.
Clearly it is a Muslamic conspiracy. It started with forcing the whole nation to make wudu every time they sneezed. Then we saw clinicians donning turquoise jilbab — well those who could get it, anyway. Now they want to force the whole nation into niqab. And all you sheeple are sleepwalking straight into it. Wake up …
Dear members, We don’t often call other organisations out by name, but frankly the state of membership of the Biscuit Dunking Society is so perilous, so flaccid, so lax, that it merits us causing a humongous controversy for all to see, in order to increase the standing of our society in the eyes of the …
If you’re going to email me to tell me something I’m doing is not from the Sunnah, you should at least use a communication method from the Sunnah, such as despatching personal messengers on horseback to deliver the message on a piece of parchment inscribed in non-vowelled Arabic to emphasise the point.
“Halal. Is it meat you’re looking for?” — Bill Bailey
It is a shame that militant secularists cannot appreciate their own extremism, with all their sacred symbols that they will defend against the blasphemies of their enemies. It is a shame that they cannot see that the excesses they condemn amongst religious communities are right there in their own. It is a shame that they …
Bono has finally found what he was looking for. Turns out he hid it in Malta.
Depressed about the lack of unity between Muslims? Then join our Islamic Pyramid scheme today. Um, I mean franchise opportunity, that’s totally not cultish at all.
Hey! Read my longwinded message which proves that such and such is HARAM!! Here is a verse from the Qur’an to prove it! Now you may say that this verse has absolutely nothing to do with such and such. However, the SCHOLARS say that the meaning of XYZ is such and such, and since you’re …
Assalamunalaukizum! Are you a gullible beardo looking to replayz your Toyota Corolla wid a Bentley? You are? Then sign up for our Islamic Pyramid Scheme today. Worried Multi-Layered Network Marketting is a scam and haram? Get wid the game boy, LOL! Who seds it was haram man? You aints nothing but a howndog. This is …
