When people are sent my way, seeking help, I think there may be hope for me yet. An opportunity to do a few good deeds.
But when I am left to my own devices, I am nearly in despair, fearing, “This could be the end of me.” How is it that I am drawn to ill so easily?
Here, the two sides of my soul in constant competition oscillating between two states. If only my kind and considerate state could gain ascendancy for once.
May God have mercy on my soul and send me more opportunities to do good with the life granted me. Let me counter my bad deeds with good, and not the other way around.
I think it was raising children that made me wish away the years. I didn’t see the decade whisper past until yesterday when I looked in the mirror and noticed my beard turning white. Am I growing up at last?
Over a decade ago, I said I didn’t get the wisdom of poking a frenzied bear in its eye with a sharp stick. A decade on, I still don’t understand it.
You say it’s called resistance. I say it’s called trying the same tactic over and over again, expecting a different outcome.
The first time the frenzied bear went on a rampage in response, you might have been excused for not knowing what would happen. The second time, perhaps the same.
But after the fourth or fifth time, might we conclude that poking a frenzied bear in its eye with a sharp stick is a counterproductive strategy? Especially since each time you do so, its frenzied rage only increases.
Apparently not. The plan is to keep on poking the frenzied bear in its eye until it decides to change its ways. A bit like the civilised Uncle Pastuzo and his nephew Paddington who, as we all know, can muster little more than a Hard Stare these days.
I hate presenting to bigwigs. They make me feel so small.
All I can say is there’s a reason I occupy a different socio-economic status to my siblings and peers.
I’ll hand back to my manager from here on. I’m better working quietly in the background, my voice unheard.
I could be blaming my biology for poor impulse control where, in fact, I am just lazy and weak-willed, which is just as plausible.
When held to account for all of my bad deeds — so many of them — might I equally discover that my excusing myself holds no weight at all?
Might my Creator, who created me with this condition by no accident, remind me that this was simply my test, like the tests granted those before me?
As it is said, no soul is burdened more than it can bear. So who am to dispute my ability to rise above all that holds me back? Maybe I just need to try a bit harder.
On my return to work yesterday, my manager checked in with me to ask if I was managing okay with the cost of living.
I said I couldn’t grumble. But he went on to tell me he was really struggling with it.
This surprised me because he earns significantly more than I do while living in a two-income household without children.
Yet this is not the first time I have experienced this. Many people who earn vastly more than I do have told me they are struggling.
They have my sympathy, for I do know struggle. Indeed, perhaps it’s precisely because we struggled in the early years of our married life that we ultimately chose the lifestyle we did.
We could have remained in London and taken out an eye-watering mortgage to pay for a house there. We could have later upscaled to an executive home.
But because I have always doubted the security of my employment after struggling so long to secure a reasonable role, we’ve long had a cautious approach towards expenditure, only ever spending what we actually have.
Of course, there are trade-offs here. Long-term readers will recall my gloomy melancholy five years ago as I castigated myself for being an utter failure, stuck in a little house in a poorer neighbourhood, unable to move.
However, that was just a matter of perspective. The advantage of not upsizing is that you won’t need to downsize in later years. And what we lack in indoor space, we make up for with our beloved garden and view.
By God’s great mercy, we find ourselves living comfortable lives, somehow insulated from the cost of living crisis.
Yes, utility bills are soaring, particularly with two teenagers in our midst taking lengthy showers that flood the bathroom daily.
Sure, the cost of food has skyrocketed exponentially. True, we share a 13 year-old, second-hand car between us.
But, just as I told my manager yesterday, I can’t grumble. Nor can we take credit for these immense blessings. Right now, I feel contentment in what we have been bestowed with.
Content, but cautious, as you have to be working in the healthcare sector with the threat of cuts perpetually looming. Twenty years on edge.
Does Copilot in Excel work for anybody? Anecdotally, nobody I know finds it useful. Queries very rarely work. On the odd occasion it does, the answers are not dependable and may incorporate hallucinated (aka incorrect) data.
Colleagues are more enthusiastic about its potential in other applications like Outlook and Teams. Yippee! I’m not one of those people, though, but that’s probably more to do with the way I work than necessarily a shortcoming in the platform.
Still, Microsoft Copilot has a long way to go to be genuinely useful for most people. It’s still very much a novelty, only occasionally useful. On those times I’ve asked it to help with a report, I’ve ended up just doing it myself because it took too long.
Which just goes to show that even if you’re the third richest company in the world, you can still fail to deliver products that offer significant value for your users. Just ask the richest company in the world — Apple — how their foray into AI is going with their botched launch, promising features they’ve had to quickly withdraw because they just don’t work.
None of this is to say AI is useless. I’ve found some genuine use cases, such as reviewing code or helping to make content more accessible. For undertaking initial research, it’s incredibly helpful, although you do still need to verify results given the aforementioned hallucination problems.
But those thinking AI will deliver massive cost-savings and profits are beginning to learn that’s not necessarily the case. Studios are already shunning generative video, realising its promise is much overhyped. And anyone working with critical data is realising that generative AI cannot be trusted for safety.
This could be bad news for governments planning to replace civil servants with technology. At best, in its current form, it can augment roles. Certainly, I see it augmenting my own role; well, it will have to, for the centre is set on shrinking corporate administrative services across the board.
I think it’s better to start thinking of AI as an accessibility aid than a panacea to all of our problems. AI is undoubtedly impressive, but the hype often oversells its capabilities.
The initial excitement around new technology often creates a rush to adopt everything available, but as the market matures, being selective becomes important. Not every new AI feature or platform will meaningfully improve our work or creative processes.
Focusing on the tools that consistently deliver practical benefits while being more cautious about investing in promising but unproven capabilities will help us find a better balance.
But, alas, balance is severely lacking in the decision-making at the top of nations, institutions, and corporations, where those in leadership positions lack genuine technical expertise. The risk is that their imbalance will ultimately sink the ship.
Back to work after a week off. Only 150 emails in my inbox — not bad — and fortunately, most of them were workflow notifications. It’s always a relief to mostly go unnoticed. How I live my life.
For people who live in a flat without a garden, an allotment is a wonderful thing. It was for us.
In those early days of marriage, we lived in a tiny flat in the roof of an old Ealing townhouse that had been converted into multiple flats.
I won’t call them apartments, as that would make them sound too grand. Compartments, maybe.
To have a little plot of land we could call our own, a ten minute walk away was a godsend.
Our little paradise amidst the urban bustle. So helpful to recentre us in those early days.
Of course, now we have a garden all of our own. But it’s still lovely to revisit our old plot from time to time.
A happy place in a neighbourhood filled with memories.
I was a very late adopter of AI, always the skeptic.
Then, about six months ago, I got pulled in by the hype despite being naturally hype-resistant.
At that point, I jumped in headfirst, thinking, wow, this is awesome, diving deep.
But latterly, the hype has begun to wear off as I see and experience things with my own senses. Suddenly, the shine has dulled.
Unfortunately, this realisation strikes after wasting a lot of money on various generative content platforms.
Not all is bad. Great strides forward have been made, without a doubt. A useful tool, for sure.
But hype? Yes, many platforms are definitely overhyped.
However, it takes fresh eyes to see that. After a break, perhaps. A rest. Time away.
From our old allotment with our old neighbours.
Asking the former Archbishop of Canterbury if he forgives a serial abuser makes no sense whatsoever.
If he was a victim of the abuser, he could justifiably forgive any crimes perpetrated against him. That might be considered magnanimous and honourable.
But it is clearly not his place to forgive on behalf of other victims, especially if justice has not been served.
The Archbishop does not speak on behalf of God, so where did the journalist get that idea from, other than religious illiteracy?
God may forgive all sins, even if they are like mountains. But that requires sincere repentance and seeking to make amends.
When a person has wronged others, it’s rather more complicated. Perhaps all the sins of the victims will be heaped on the abuser as compensation for the wrongs done to them.
God is forgiving, yes, but also Most Just. Unlike mankind which is often neither.
Mashallah, our community of around 5000 souls raised over £100,000 for the less fortunate this Ramadan.
May Allah reward the generous amongst us and increase us in good deeds. Seeds of a unified community.
