Do I suffer from a kind of paranoia that makes me excessively sensitive to other people’s expressions? Do I often conclude they’re laughing at me when they’re not? It’s possible. It could be that I interpret neutral social cues as negative due to heightened sensitivity to perceived social rejection or criticism. Difficulty reading social cues …
Living with a common but rarely diagnosed aneuploidy has placed me in a curious diagnostic limbo that was perfectly illuminated by a colleague yesterday: “We’re all individuals with unique needs and differences. People seek diagnoses primarily to access support, not because a label perfectly defines them.” Naturally, this resonated with me deeply. For I recognise …
Here we go again. Every time a particular colleague speaks in group settings, I experience a strong involuntary reaction. It’s difficult to explain because I genuinely like them, get on well with them in one-to-one interactions, and support the work they lead. However, whenever they speak in public forums, including virtual meetings, I find myself …
“Be a man” means different things to different people. It means be strong. Provide for your family. Stand up straight. Don’t show emotions. Be tough. Stand up for yourself. Be masculine. Be ambitious. Be a fighter. Stand your ground. When I was younger, people said this to me a lot. Unsurprisingly, I suppose, because I …
In reporting of recent UK Supreme Court rulings about the use of female-only changing facilities by transgender individuals, I’ve noticed some media outlets conflating transgender identities with intersex conditions — and, in some cases, even with chromosomal differences that do not constitute intersex conditions at all. One of those conditions I know intimately, having been …
Healthcare literature often presents the effects of my chromosome disorder as being mild. As if to confirm this point, it will invariably go on to state that most men don’t even know they have it. When I was diagnosed in my late twenties, it was presented as an endocrine condition alone. Low testosterone. Infertility. Mild, …
People often interrupt me, assuming I’ve finished speaking. It happens so regularly that I’ve come to expect it. In conversation, a pause on my part is rarely a full stop. It’s just a moment where I’m trying to find the next word. Not gathering my thoughts in some deliberate, poetic way, but simply trying to …
I could be blaming my biology for poor impulse control where, in fact, I am just lazy and weak-willed, which is just as plausible. When held to account for all of my bad deeds — so many of them — might I equally discover that my excusing myself holds no weight at all? Might my …
For thirty years, I’ve framed my inner battles as purely spiritual challenges, which I continuously seem to fail. But just last night, after taking myself to task for repeating decades-old mistakes, I was confronted by a new thought: could there be more to this than just a spiritual malady. In short, how does my spiritual …
Save us from trite journalism. The Guardian reports on a study survey by a market research company of 1,000 primary school teachers in England and Wales, highlighting concerns about children’s school readiness. The reported findings suggest that many children are starting school with delayed motor skills and other developmental challenges. However, several statistical issues raise …
Some research suggests that people with a particular chromosomal aneuploidy are susceptible to magical thinking and seeing patterns where others perceive none. How appropriate, you might think, considering all that I write about. Not least for seeing a personal rebuke in a randomly generated string assigned to a file by a web server. Admittedly, that …
A colleague notes I have been extraordinarily productive lately, producing all manner of guidance needed by our team and the organisation as a whole. “What’s your secret,” they beg, “a new beverage?” It’s meant in jest, but they’re not far off. This productivity is indeed linked to nourishment of sorts: in this case, my quarterly …
I know my social gaze is problematic. For the past twelve years, I’ve resolved the issue by working from home and generally only socialising with those I trust. But now we have two adolescents in our midst who remind me daily that my gaze is broken. “Why are you staring?” they bark if I happen …
Alas, hindsight strikes a quarter of a century too late. All that strife from college, university and the early years of employment begins to make better sense now that I have a better understanding of myself.
To dull my domineering nafs, I deliberately neglected treatment for several years. And, in my mind, it worked. I felt in control, my spirit subdued, my vigour vanquished. But that apparent spiritual success may have been a mere mirage. What I perceived to be progress may have merely been melancholy, and my self-restraint an intense …
