I’m not really into great eulogies, describing the Queen as the only constant in the lives of our generation through turbulent times. That’s the role of grannies generally. Perhaps, in that respect, she was the nation’s grannie. Yes, but a very privileged grannie, whose moderately small family received hundreds of millions of pounds of state …
I was sitting with my best friend in the college canteen, when an Asian girl sat down with us. Soon we were having a friendly chat. She was explaining that her whole family had converted from Islam to Sikhism for marriage. Though I knew nothing about either tradition then, I found this conversation fascinating.
How do multigenerational households survive the lack of personal space? I struggle to comprehend the challenges for those newly married couples forced to move in to the family home, to subsist amongst parents-in-law, brothers-in-law (also married) and sisters-in-law, and occasionally even grandparents.
To the question, “How do Muslims treat women?” you will not get a definitive answer, because it all depends on the individual, their personal circumstances, their family culture and the environment in which they exist.
If I speak a lot about marriage and my beloved, it is out of gratitude and in awe. It’s not easy to find a companion and soulmate, and even if you do, there are always others who will place obstacles in your way. The half a decade before we met was a real test for …
Second thoughts on engagement, post party. I confess to be confused the following morning, because what we experienced was basically a wedding, without the marriage. There were the vast numbers of guests, the dancing, the photographs. The only thing missing was the nikah. Which begs the question: why not just get married?
By tradition, we always celebrate our wedding anniversary. It’s our one day off-duty, when a friend or relative will take our children for twenty-four hours. Occasionally, we’ve even had two days away, with my parents entertaining them in our absence. It’s the highlight of the year.
You say I proposed to you, down on one knee, at the traffic lights opposite the park on West Ealing Broadway, waiting for the traffic to come to a halt. As you were thinking about it, the green man said “Go!” and you agreed with him. “Yes,” you said, and there we crossed to the …
I should be clear that when I use the term honour, it is in accordance with its positive meaning, as commonly understood in the English language, i.e. the quality of knowing and doing what is morally right.
There are so many things we did when we were young, which with hindsight we might choose to do differently today. Mindful of the long engagements that many Muslim couples nowadays have, I suppose we could perhaps have slowed down a bit too.
On a forum today, I read a question from a woman asking for advice on how wives and partners deal with this diagnosis in their spouse.
What stops the man from being honourable? Is it so hard for him to marry the one he claims to love and make it all tayyib? What prevents him from making two halves whole?
To say, “I forgive.” To me, these are not just words. It took a lot for me first to forgive and then to seek forgiveness for events that had once traumatised me. The truth behind those events, I don’t suppose I will ever know in this life. We have the day of judgement for that.
All that is written here is an understanding. A limited understanding, pieced together from broken memories, old notes and much supposition. Who knows? It may be completely mistaken, represent partial truths, or be more or less true. Sad to say, I was never given the honour of an explanation. As far as I know, those …
As a result of his life experiences up to that point, nerd-face is fiercely egalitarian. He’s anti-racist, pro-justice, passionate about human rights. Due to a lifetime of bullying due to some imperceptible difference he can’t even see in himself, he’s developed a strong emphatic attunement with the underdog. In his personal relationships, he gravitates towards …
