9.3
It hardly seemed fair that anyone should be made to go on with an afternoon of sports on the wettest and coldest day of the year when the only possible outcome was the onset of a fever to last another week, but their teachers had spent lunchtime rationalising to one another their sadistic verdicts and were in no mood to have their minds changed now. Mr Barker, who imagined himself to be an elite special forces paratrooper and rather the liked the idea of crawling through a muddy ditch, argued that the whole exercise would be character building. At least his justification made it sound like they might amount to something one day. His female counterpart told her students that it would prepare them for life in the real world, which they took to mean that the whole of the sixth form were destined for a career picking winter cabbages in Lincolnshire.
Emerging from the changing rooms at ten minutes past two, Siti Noor spied the burly one, standing all alone under the covered walkway, that mysterious smile still affixed to his face. Glancing all around her, lest a teacher or a nosy friend spot her, she tiptoed over to him, nearly skipping on her way, eager to complete her urgent mission.
‘Now Ben,’ she giggled, as she arrived beside him, ‘won’t you just look at this?’ She waggled a piece of paper in front of his face, seeming to offer it to him one moment, only to withdraw it whenever he reached for it, teasing him quite deliberately. ‘I’ve got something for you,’ she sang, dancing before him. ‘I’ve got something for you-hu,’ she guffawed, ‘Oh, I’ve got some-thing for you…’ Siti Noor let out a shrill burst of laughter. ‘Now Satya’s sending you notes, Ben,’ she chuckled inanely. ‘You know what that means, don’t you?’
‘I hope you’re having a laugh,’ he sighed impatiently.
‘What, you think it’s still a secret?’
‘Who told you?’
‘Nobody told me. I knew weeks ago.’
‘Knew?’
‘Well, I guessed,’ she conceded, smiling, ‘But I was right, wasn’t I? Because, oh look: a love letter.’
‘Don’t be daft, Nora, we’re just friends.’
‘Just friends?’ she tittered, ‘It doesn’t look like that to me.’ She fluttered the letter in front of his eyes once more. ‘This can mean only one thing.’
‘It means nothing,’ said Ben abruptly, snatching the note from her hand, looking annoyed. ‘Don’t say anything about this to anyone,’ he gasped indignantly, his unfamiliar smile vanishing from his face. ‘We’re just friends,’ he insisted, ‘Nothing more.’
‘Oh don’t be so precious about it,’ she giggled back at him. ‘I’m only messing about.’
‘It’s not something to joke about,’ said Ben brusquely. ‘Don’t go starting rumours.’
‘I never would anyway. I’m only joking with you.’
‘And with Anjana?’
‘I haven’t spoken to Anjana about it at all.’
‘Well, good. Don’t. And if she asks you, tell her what I said.’
‘Still in love, eh, Ben?’
‘Just leave it, Nora…’
‘Oh, don’t take it all so personally,’ laughed Siti Noor. The freezing fog was calling her anyway, she thought, almost convinced by the implausible justification proffered by her soul. ‘Lighten up,’ she hollered aloud as she turned her back to him and scampered off into the grey drizzle.
Mine dear Mister Benjamin, John’s son: greetings!
A good start, mused Ben, unfolding Satya’s epistle, penned in that exquisite, curved handwriting of hers, a modest smirk reseeding in the corners of his mouth.
Good sir, alas, I hafe nyuze that mayst befuddle thine senses. I pray I am mistaken, postulating a presumptuous supposition founded on a prejudicial understanding of the aforementioned. That is to say: “What was I talking about again?”
His lips had morphed to form a full smile, his eyes open wide. He even let out a quiet chortle, imagining those words dropping from her tongue.
Ah yes! Forsooth: upon this very eve, ye and me had planned a rendezvous at the central bibliotheca (that being the eve of the morrow, i.e. tonight).
However, alas – alas! — happenstance hafe decreed an intervention of truly heart rendering proportions: the insistence of mine own friends that I shouldst attend in its stead a gathering at my cousin’s house in the northern reaches.
Pray, understand good sir, tis nought but an unfortunate twist of fate and no sleight against thee.
Shrugging his shoulders, Ben now laughed aloud, conjuring up a vision of his companion, as if she was standing before him, gesticulating wildly, her own face beaming at him cheerily.
Good sir, I must nevertheless insist upon — nay demand — an alternate rendezvous with thine own very splendid self at the close of school, whereupon I must convey questions of uttermost import.
I shalt await thine arrival by the hall of sport, whereaway the litterbugs roam. I am minded to forgo games, since Ms Carlton cannot abide the sight of me, but shalt linger yonder regardless.
Pray, attend to me and ask not the whyes and wherefores. Mine heart doth fizz with joy in glad anticipation of our reunion.
Kind sir, I thank thee.
Miss Kaur Blimey Govna
Frozen solid and caked with mud, Ben awaited Satya’s arrival an hour and a half later, his back pressed into the yellow brick of the sports hall’s outer wall, his shivers nearly sending him into a convulsive fit.
‘Good morrow, kind sir,’ she grinned when she finally arrived, similarly grimy from an afternoon of unwilling sport. ‘How fareth thee?’ she asked, as she shuffled along at his side.
‘Hark,’ he replied, humoured by her approach, gladdened to see her standing there. ‘What merriment!’ he exclaimed. ‘How art thou?’ he asked.
‘Forsooth, kind sir,’ she chuckled, picking a lump of soil out of his hair, ‘I am a beholder of wellness and thou art a balm for mine own fatigued ocular apparatus. What merriment indeed, as ever it is on our joyful meeting. How, mine dear old boy, art thou?’
‘Yonder, I too am a possessor of wellness and, if I may be so bold, of euphoria, merriment, contentment and sheer delight. Befuddle me not. What news, fair maiden?’
‘Didst mine companion convey unto thee mine epistle?’
‘She did indeed, fair maiden, bright and beautiful. Tis all wondrous and well. I am displeased not a jot. Nay! Enjoy your sojourn with thine comrades. But lo! What is this conundrum thoust speaketh of? Pray telleth.’
Satya peered into the boy’s eyes, drawing his gaze back to her. ‘Kind sir,’ she meandered on, ‘many a time have you dashed mine hopes. Please sir, desist. I wouldst be very much obliged if thou wouldst invite mine self to accompany thine self for a fair saunter in woods dear to me in times near upon us. What sayeth thou?’
‘Fair maiden, I must ponder this enquiry of yours. Mayst I-eth?’
‘Do,’ she giggled, ‘but disappoint me not.’
‘Forsooth, I shalt give it due no-con sideration.’
‘Tis appreciated kind sir,’ smiled Satya, her fingers wandering along his forearm, ‘I do prayeth thou wilt cometh awandering witst me. I cannot wait to showeth unto thou mine own little piece of paradise.’
‘Och, alas,’ he said, ‘Let me throw caution to the wind. When thoust put it liketh that: why of course I will, and it wilt be mine utmost pleasure.’
Lost in their own world of singular stupidity, they had been rendered oblivious to their surroundings. When they met like this, fantastic exhilaration seemed to settle in their hearts, provoking a fond rapport, their perpetual awkwardness set aside.
‘What will be your pleasure?’ came the tragic words which jolted Satya’s gaze away from him. Discovering her cousin standing there, her whole demeanour seemed to change, her hands dropping to her sides, her head bowed, her neck bent. ‘What’s happening here?’ she asked as if alarmed, clutching at her cousin’s elbow. ‘Why are you talking to that idiot? And like that?’
‘I wasn’t,’ whispered Satya, turning her back on him, ‘I was just waiting for you.’
‘Liar! I heard the whole damn thing. I saw you stroking his arm. And I heard the ridiculous way you were speaking.’ Her cousin’s face was no longer friendly, but aggressive instead, her lips turned down. Releasing her cousin’s elbow, she took one step back, looked at her hung head and spat out her stark revulsion. ‘My God, Sats, have you lost your mind?’
‘We were just talking,’ whispered Satya.
‘No, you weren’t just talking. What was it, Romeo and Juliet, or the Taming of the Shrew? No, that would be unfair to shrews.’
‘We were just messing about. Just being silly.’
‘With him? After everything I told you? No, I know what it was now: it was The Tempest. You’ll realise that when it hits you.’
‘We’re just friends,’ whispered Satya.
‘Um, reality check: your fingers were dancing all the way up his arm. So no, you’re lying.’
‘I’m not. I was just playing.’
‘You’re not five years old, Sat. You’re three days off seventeen. And there I was thinking you’re this great intellectual, genius brain, who could easily grasp what I tell you. My God, you’re dating that idiot! Are you mad?’
‘We’re not dating,’ came Ben’s anxious interjection, his heart wrenching painfully.
‘Oh shut up, you stupid freak,’ bellowed Balvinder, ‘Does it look like I’m talking to you?’ She shook her head furiously, her eyes locked on her cousin. ‘Have you lost your mind, Sats?’ she cried, ‘No wonder you’ve been so quiet lately. And to think we thought we had to invite you around my house. We felt sorry for you. We thought you were feeling lonely. But no, now I can see, you’ve been busy, haven’t you? No wonder you don’t have time for your friends anymore. Well, it’s okay, cous, we won’t impose ourselves on you anymore.’
Satya glanced back at her in astonishment. ‘Bal, be reasonable,’ she said, ‘I was just talking to him. We’re not dating or anything. I just like his company. He’s nothing like you say he is. He’s just a normal, ordinary guy.’
‘There’s no normal ordinary here, Sat. You’re a hypocrite.’
‘No I’m not.’
‘Should’ve known your whole religion thing was bogus. My bro’s going to be so disappointed. He’s in awe of you, Sats. Turns out it was just a disguise.’
‘That’s not true. I’m not doing anything wrong.’
‘Forget it, you don’t need to explain yourself to me. Do what you like. Just don’t come running to me when it all goes pair shaped, as it will. Yeah, and forget about this evening.’
‘But, Bal, be reasonable.’
‘No, you be reasonable. I’ve warned you so many times about that idiot. He’ll get what he wants from you, and then he’ll just dump you. But you don’t want to hear that, do you? I guess you’ll just have to find out the hard way.’
There was nothing Satya could say to her to pull her back, watching helplessly as she rushed away, her head shaking violently. Beside her, Ben seemed to stumble, bumping back against the wall.
‘This is getting out of hand,’ he moaned, ‘This is exactly why I didn’t want us to speak at school. You’re going to have to speak to her. If this gets out, we’re finished. And I’m serious. I don’t want to think about what your brother will do. Make sure your cousin keeps her mouth shut. Tell her the truth: tell her we’re not dating.’
‘Ben, you need to stop worrying so much. To be honest, I don’t care what people think. They can believe what they like.’
‘No, they can’t, because it won’t end in a nice way. I’m not kidding you: if this gets out, truly we’re finished. Truly, we’re dead.’
‘But Ben…’
‘Sat-ya!’ he yelled, ‘Go and chase after her and tell her she’s got it all wrong. Tell her I’m an idiot, a loser. Tell her what she wants to hear.’
‘I’m not going to say that about you.’
‘Tell her! Before she tells everyone.’
Satya stared at him inelegantly, her eyes impatient. ‘Ben,’ she said, ‘you’re going to have to tell me what this is all about. You’ve gone white. Why are you behaving like this?’
‘Oh forget it,’ he cried, motioning as if to follow after her, ‘I’ll tell her myself.’
‘Okay, okay,’ she sighed, ‘I’ll speak to her. Just don’t worry about all this. Nothing’s going to happen.’
Satya ran as fast as she could to catch up with her cousin, reaching her just short of the school gates, but her attempts to talk to her were all in vain. Shunning her, Balvinder told her that she would no longer be welcome at her house; no, it was worse than that: she never wanted to speak to her again. Satya had blown it, she told her, pushing her away.
‘Satya’s not coming with us,’ she announced as she caught up with Anjana and Siti Noor by the leafless sycamore tree which offered scant protection from the blustering wind. ‘She’s uninvited.’
‘Why?’ asked Anjana, glancing back at their absent friend.
‘Because she’s running around with that freak.’
‘You mean, Ben?’ laughed Siti Noor, ‘Oh, Bals, that has to be the school’s worst kept secret. Have you only just worked it out?’
‘What, is it some joke? I don’t see what’s funny about it.’
‘No, I suppose you wouldn’t. So you just found out and you blew up on her? Don’t you think you might’ve overreacted?’
‘Well how should I react, Noor? Anjana’s your best friend, isn’t she? So, tell us: was the way he treated her anything other than atrocious? Go on: tell us.’
‘Um, hello,’ moaned Anjana, ‘why are you two speaking like I’m not here? I do have feelings, you know.’
‘Feelings about what?’ cried Balvinder. ‘What’s wrong with you these days? You’re starting to worry me. Have you banged your head or something? Why this sudden amnesia?’
‘Amnesia?’
‘What is it then? Insanity? Psychosis?’ Balvinder shook her head at her friend in disbelief. ‘I will never, ever trust that idiot. Tell me, Anjana, what’s his modus operandi?’
‘I don’t know. Speaking in Latin to make himself sound really smart?’
‘God, Anjana, it’s like we’re back in the second year. Maybe it was understandable in 1989, but now? Grow up.’
‘I have grown up. And that’s why I can’t be bothered with this stupid crap. I don’t want to hate him anymore. I’m tired of it.’
Balvinder gazed at her friend incredulously. ‘Oh. My. God. You’re jealous of Satya, aren’t you?’
‘No, I just want to be a nice person. I’m sick of us being such cows all the time. I don’t even know what we’re doing talking like this.’
‘You wonder? Because Satya over there has fallen for the exact same tricks as you did. Let me guess: that feeble wimp won her over with that quavering, unconfident voice of his and some shit claim of victimisation? Made her feel sorry for him.’
‘You know nothing, Bal,’ cried Anjana. ‘It was never even like that.’
‘God, Anjana, did you walk into a wall or something? It’s just history repeating itself. There he goes looking for pity all over again, and there Satya goes, falling for it. Shall I tell her how it’ll end? Yes, he’ll manipulate her for his own twisted desires and just when she thinks everything’s perfect, he’ll pull the rug out from under her feet and leave her shattered and broken. And how do I know? Because that’s exactly what he did to my best friend. He crushed you, Anj. He destroyed you.’
‘That’s not true,’ she stuttered.
‘Oh yes it is. I saw what happened with my own eyes. And now I’m watching my cousin fall for those same old tricks. I think my anger’s justified, don’t you? You don’t want to hear this, Anjana, but that boy wiped you out. What he did annihilated you; you were destroyed.’
‘It’s not like that at all,’ whispered Anjana.
‘I was at your side the whole time. I saw everything you went through. You can deny it, but we all know the truth. Isn’t that what happened, Noor?’
‘Yeah, well,’ said Anjana at once, silencing her friend, ‘in Satya’s case you’ve got it all wrong, because she’s not going out with him or anything.’
‘I don’t even care,’ said Balvinder, ‘because you used to say the exact same thing. But it didn’t help you, did it? Satya just needs to steer clear of him altogether. He’s bad news, full stop.’
‘Well pushing her away isn’t going to help, is it?’
‘Too late. We’ll have fun without her.’
Anjana sighed disappointedly. ‘But the whole point of it was getting together because of her,’ she moaned, ‘We were going to be mean to her, remember?’
‘Oh don’t worry about that,’ laughed Balvinder, ‘I can still manage that.’ Grinning at her friends impatiently, she moved them from their places. ‘Come on,’ she said, ‘let’s go.’
The journey to Balvinder’s house by bus was good humoured; Siti Noor recounted another of her funny tales, which seemed to enrapture all of the passengers on the top deck. The mood was buoyant, like a defiant reaction to the smoky gloom that had hung all day. Listening to their conversations inquisitively, even Balvinder’s brother beamed back at them, daydreaming. Noticing, she left her friends and plonked herself down beside him.
‘What’s up?’ Balvinder asked him, peering into his eyes. ‘Should you be staring like that?’
Beside her, Nirman shrugged his shoulders and redirected his eyes outside, down to the pavement flying past below. ‘I was just wondering what’s wrong with your friend,’ he murmured, glancing back at her.
‘Anjana?’
‘Yeah. She looks utterly miserable. Has something happened?’
For a second, Balvinder observed her friends over there. She noted the way Anjana had rested her head on Siti Noor’s shoulder since she had left them. ‘That’s what I thought too,’ she told him, ‘but no, nobody’s died. As far as I can tell, her life’s all good.’
‘What then? She looks on the verge of tears.’
‘I have an idea,’ breathed Balvinder. ‘I think she’s burning with envy.’
‘Why?’
Hiding her mouth behind her hand, Balvinder glimpsed at her brother. ‘Seen Satya lately?’ she whispered, leaning forward.
‘Sukh’s sister?’
‘Yes, her, your cous,’ she said, nodding. ‘Heard what she’s up to? She’s running around with that Johnson freak.’
‘What, Ben Johnson?’
‘Yes, him.’
‘No, that’s not possible,’ muttered Nirman, waving her away, ‘That can’t be right.’
‘Why can’t it? She’s dating him.’
‘No, no way. That’s impossible.’
‘But I saw them,’ insisted Balvinder.
‘What did you see?’
‘I saw them talking.’
Hearing her, Nirman ejected an irked snort. ‘Well that’s not dating, is it?’ he barked.
‘They were gazing into each others’ eyes like they were in love. They were speaking in this daft Shakespearean English too.’
‘That doesn’t mean it’s Much Ado About Nothing. Don’t go spreading this around. I know for a fact it’s not true.’
‘For a fact? How?’
‘Because I know our Sukhiboy.’ He thought for a moment, glancing away from her. ‘And I know Ben Johnson too,’ he added.
‘You’re not mates.’
‘No, but I know why he behaves the way he does.’
‘Who doesn’t? His family’s all National Front.’
‘That’s not the reason. If you promise not to tell anyone…’
‘This is our stop, isn’t it?’ cried Siti Noor, rushing towards them to move them from their place, ringing the bell urgently.
Rattling down the stairs after them, Balvinder took her brother by his arm and pulled him towards her. ‘If you don’t believe what I’m saying, just look at her,’ she gasped, aiming for his ear. ‘Her face says it all. You can see it mile off.’
‘Don’t say that,’ he mumbled as the doors flapped open. ‘If you knew…’ Hitting the pavement, her brother gawked back at her. ‘Well, even if that is true, which I very much doubt, just leave it. Mind your own business. Stay out of it.’
‘Fat chance,’ laughed Balvinder, leading the way.
‘I’m serious,’ he pleaded, traipsing along beside her. ‘Satya could end up in serious trouble.’
‘Well, she’d only have herself to blame.’
‘Maybe, but that doesn’t mean you go telling everyone.’
‘Why? Wouldn’t her Sukh want to know? Wouldn’t you want to know if it was me?’
‘Khuda na kare,’ spluttered Nirman, ‘God forbid!’
From the bus stop, the four of them cut across the large circular park, but immediately regretted it, their feet subsumed by the muddy wet sludge underfoot. The first turning on their right would have been better, looping round onto their hosts’ avenue.
‘Well, I’d tell him,’ declared Balvinder abruptly. ‘If that meant Sats was saved from that freak.’
‘Saved?’ choked Nirman, shaking his head forcefully, ‘You’d likely never see her again. I don’t want that on my conscience.’ Briefly he drew to a halt and glared into his sister’s eyes. ‘I can see you’ve had your falling out, Bal, but don’t push it,’ he told her, raising his voice by accident. ‘I know he’s family, but I’d never tell him something like that. If you knew what I know, you’d keep your mouth shut.’
‘What do you know?’ interjected Anjana, squeezing through the gap between them.
‘Nothing,’ murmured Nirman, glancing away embarrassed.
‘I know he’s been threatening Ben,’ said Anjana, demanding answers. ‘So tell me what you know.’
‘I don’t know about that.’
‘You don’t know about what you know?’
‘I wasn’t talking about that. Just…’
‘Yes?’
‘I’m just telling my sis not to spread rumours,’ he said hastily.
‘They’re not rumours,’ insisted Balvinder.
‘Well they are,’ said Anjana miserably, ‘and your brother’s right. Just leave Satya alone. When I said I wanted to be mean to her, I didn’t have this in mind. It was just meant to be a bit of fun.’
‘Too late,’ sniggered Balvinder contemptibly, directing them on towards her red-brick terrace. ‘I think Sukh already knows.’
