folio

I remember my lectures on the politics of the Middle East intimately.

This was a popular course, so our room in the Brunei Gallery would be packed.

I’d sit somewhere near the back, for I was completely disengaged.

While everyone around me would be taking copious notes, my pad of paper would fill with doodles of cars.

Why do I remember that now? Because, here I am at my desk doing exactly the same.

I have two monitors in front of me. A code editor on that screen. A presentation over there.

But my fingers have left my keyboard and mouse. Instead, I’m scribbling pictures of sports cars on a scrap of paper with a biro.

I cannot focus at all. It’s at this point that it occurs to me that I need help.

A dawning realisation, possibly thirty years too late.