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I regret ever touching this thing. I regret responding when they said this will just be an interim solution.

I should have said, “Look, if externals quoted you £80K for the job, how on earth do you think I’m going to be able to help you?”

Of course, the external agency wanted you to pay for two developers. You wanted it for free. And, after much persuasion, I finally agreed.

That was a decade ago, and I’m still stuck with it to this very day, as all your successors chase changes you wouldn’t even believe.

Is this my job? No, it’s not. There’s a team that specialises in this, filled with technical project managers and application developers.

So why am I stuck with it? Because I’m a mug. An idiot. Because when put under pressure, I’m a people pleaser, succumbing to every demand.

But in reality, I can’t please anyone, for I simply can’t deliver. This is an added extra heaped on top of everything else.

I wish I’d never touched the bloody thing. I wish I’d done what everyone else does and replied, “Sorry, it’s not my responsibility.”

Which, as it happens, would have been completely true. And it would be even truer now, having changed roles and teams.

But, apparently, I’m the only person in the whole damn organisation with the necessary skills. Yep, amidst all eight thousand of them, my ass.

People pleasing mug, incapable of pleasing anybody, with nobody to advocate on my behalf, stuck with rubbish I never wanted to touch in the first place.

May God help me deliver these final changes, and then be rid of it.