folio

In my state of mind, twenty-eight years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to cope with “clearing”. Clearing is the name of the process that kicks in when students don’t make their expected A-Level grades to secure their preferred place at university.

It was probably good then that I had not applied for university at all. Although I had achieved an A in an AS-Level at the end of my first year of college, everything went down hill from there. My concoction of chosen subjects was such a mishmash, and barely reflected my interests at all.

I really wanted to do an A-Level in Graphic Design, but couldn’t because I didn’t have the requisite GCSE in Art. So instead I was found in the Design and Technology workshop, practising my mig-welding skills for my final metal-working project.

Of my remaining subjects, only English Language piqued my interest. The other two were fillers. There was another AS-Level in British Government and Politics, and an A-Level in that most generic of subjects, General Studies. Naturally that directionless set of random subjects contributed to a growing sense of worthlessness.

By the time the idea of applying for university had been mooted, I had convinced myself that I was destined to flunk everything. And, in any case, I had no idea what I would study.

What I still really wanted to do was study Graphic Design, but that seemed to be out of the question, as a result of a litany of bad decisions going all the way back to 1990. So that was that: I just gave up, succumbing to a particularly heavy bout of anxiety.

In the end, the grades I achieved gave me sufficient points to make it to a good university, but I understood none of that. To me it just looked like a hopeless mess, three Cs dwarfing an A and B. As far as I was concerned, I had reached the end of the road with education.

It would take me a year to find the confidence to apply directly outside the UCAS system, with my grades already to hand. Initially I planned to try for Graphic Design anyway, scouring prospectus for any college that would take someone without A-Levels in Art or Graphics. I soon had my heart set on a place at Edge Hill College.

Ah, but alas, it was not to be, for my parents petitioned me to get a “proper degree”. Being a creative type, I had no idea what that meant, so I just grasped around for any other long-standing interest of mine. All I could think of was my interest in poverty alleviation and human rights. Thus did I hit upon my chosen subject.

In the years since then I’ve realised that my ultimately ending up in London had absolutely nothing to do with my final destination in the world of work. In fact, I don’t think any employer has ever taken an interest in my paper qualifications at all.

I was steered onto other paths for completely different reasons. I guess that was my own clearing process. Clearing conventional pathways in pursuit of the extraordinary. For sure, the road here has been anything but ordinary.