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The past few days, it occurred to me: “Stay in your lane.”

Reality check: those who have raced past me, rising through the ranks into senior management did so with ambition, determination, training and earned experience.

As for me? I’ve been content pursuing stability: a secure income, a happy home, minimal stress, meaningful work.

So it is that I’ve been doing pretty much the same thing for a decade, only taking on more responsibility. It’s hard to see anywhere to go from here.

For me, a change of job title doesn’t change a thing, except cause resentment all around. It’s still the same job, with the same pay. Forget these bold pretensions.

I am what I am: a specialist in a narrow field, of no great significance. But it is enough for me. It provides the stability I need to support my family, and sufficient income to cover our needs.

I have been in awe of old acquaintances this past year, discovering what they have achieved in the quarter of a century our paths have diverged. Each of them, the epitome of success.

But that was their rizq. Mine is something else. Here I recall that I had different ambitions. I was never destined to rise up there. My brain doesn’t work that way. In truth, whatever I have achieved is only by the Mercy of the One.

Envy and pride can sow all kinds of notions within. Certainly I have witnessed this in my soul: perhaps that was the cause of the crash in my mood this week, as I measured myself up against others. Was it jealousy of another, who won what I once desired instead of me?

Pondering on these thoughts, I now rebuke myself: “Stay in your lane.”

What was destined for me, I am immensely grateful for. Stability and ease despite modest means. A companion in life who lifts me up, standing with me through thick and thin, content with the decree of her Lord.

The beauty of the garden. Open countryside near at hand. A piece of my teenage dreams: that little homestead farm set on springfed lands to retire to, if the Most Merciful wills.

“Stay in your lane,” I tell myself now. For is there anything wrong with your lane at all? Be grateful for this lane long traversed.