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I’m a very apologetic person, especially when it comes to expressing myself. I can’t help taking things back, having second thoughts, deleting what momentarily seemed sound.

I’m feeling very apologetic right now, after a day communicating at work. I put across ideas assertively, based on my area of expertise, then afterwards feel doubtful for having done so, regretting those interventions.

There is something that bothers me at moments like this: is my social behaviour “normal”? In truth, I worry that I exhibit non-typical behaviour in my social interactions, particularly when communicating with others.

I nearly messaged my team: “I’m sorry if I come across as very gruff; I don’t mean to.” I didn’t, of course, but it’s how I feel. I fear I’m misunderstood. I fear I come across as a know-it-all, rather than one articulating his narrow field of expertise.

For sure, I’m self-conscious and excessively self-critical. Do I come across as argumentative? I don’t mean to. Do my words wind others up? That’s not my intention. Am I a bad communicator? I could well be. Is that the real reason I have so few friends? Possibly.

Am I forever misunderstood? If so, then I guess I will forever be apologetic too.