We’ve been stung so many times that you might think we would have learned by now. But that’s the trouble with trusting people: you’re naturally inclined to believe people are generally honest, and moved by conscience.
My father once said, when approached by a relative for help, that he would never agree to be a guarantor for anyone, not even his own children. But by then, we had already learned this lesson the hard way, having agreed to be one for a friend. The first time we knew they had fallen months behind on rent arrears was when we received a letter from their landlord’s solicitor demanding we pay up or be taken to court. We duly complied, handing over thousands on behalf of one fallen on hard times.
That case could be forgiven, for our friend was simply the victim of circumstance, struggling to make ends meet. For us an effective lesson in the responsibilities associated with legal roles. From here on, we will give a friend seeking accommodation a reference by all means, but now adopt the hardline stance of my father: a man of far greater means that I. Our test came at a time when we were on relatively low incomes ourselves, but we just had to let it go in the spirit of fraternity, forgiveness and charity.
Other cases are less easily forgiven. Builders seem to be particularly notorious for breaching trust. Often they spin a yarn which appeals to your common humanity. Only those with the hardest of hearts could fail to be moved by stories of a death in the family or the critical illness of a child. Surely nobody would lie about such grave matters. So, of course, we give them the benefit of the doubt. Yes, even the chap who claims to be at a funeral every single time we try to get in touch — perhaps he is just extremely unlucky. The worker supposed to come back whose mother suddenly died? Him too.
You might say, “Wow, you’re so naive!” But I’d rather we were wronged than we wronged another. If they’re lying and depriving us of our rights, they will have to answer for it. If they’re telling the truth and we’re depriving them of theirs, however, we will be held to account for how we responded. I’d rather give others the benefit of the doubt, than be unjust to them.
To be sure, this attitude has put us out of pocket numerous times, be it the vanishing builder citing a family tragedy or the chap with a hidden gambling addiction flitting away a large loan on a stupendous bet. Frequently and repeatedly, our trust has been severely tested, but still we try to maintain a positive attitude towards others. Surely not all the world will abuse a trust; surely there are honest souls amongst us? And if not, well, it is all in a register mubeen.
Last modified: 12 May 2023