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My wife, like many a Muslim parent, worries that our children do not seem to have Muslim friends at school. My concern, on the other hand, is that they simply find good friends, of whatever background.

If they are to have good Muslim friends — undoubtedly important for their sense of identity — it makes more sense that they’re the children of our friends, whom we know to be trustworthy, responsible and of good character.

As for the generic youth presumed to be Muslim by virtue of their ethnicity, mother-tongue or name: there’s no reason to think they should be any better a role model for our children than those they have naturally gravitated towards.

For a while last year I was taking our son to a Muslim-run youth club in a neighbouring town. My wife rejoiced, even as I grew weary of the thirty-minute drive each way. But I was less convinced.

While I know and trust those running the youth club, it didn’t make a lot of sense me transporting him into an area of high social deprivation, where those activities were being provided precisely to steer young people away from trouble.

Witness the interventions of many a reformed-gangster, regularly brought in to speak to the kids in an effort to steer them away from the world of drugs, knives and crime. Do we need to induct our children into such a community in crisis?

In adult life, I have been very fortunate to have wonderful Muslim friends — some of the best people I have ever known. I hope the same will be true for our children, but right now is the age of peer pressure. If they are to have Muslim peers worthy of emulation, it won’t be at school.

So we must seek out other wholesome avenues. The companionship of likeminded friends, whose children can exert a positive influence on ours. Being a positive role model ourselves. Finding them hobbies and activities with which to engage them. It can be difficult, but try we must.

May our Lord grant us and our children good friends, and keep us on the right path, living good lives in the service of others.