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In life, I find, we tend to be tested by whatever occupies us at any given time. In the very early days along this path, such tests would often revolve around the strange hypotheses I’d entertain to account for the perplexing conundrums of the moment. In the period leading up to my testimony of faith, for example, I found myself confronted by ancient verses which appeared to describe the primordial state of the universe:

Have not the unbelievers then beheld that the heavens and the earth were a mass all sewn up, then We unstitched them and of water fashioned every living thing? Will they not believe?

Quran 21:30

Reading those lines in an English rendering translated in 1964 did carry me over that line between unbelief and belief, convincing me — then a wavering agnostic — that God did indeed exist. In those early months along this road, a few such verses kept my nascent faith alive. Words such as these:

Then He lifted Himself to heaven when it was smoke, and said to it and to the earth, “Come willingly, or unwillingly!” They said, “We come willingly.”

Quran 41:11

Encountering such words, pondering deep-space images of vast nebulae, you might think my faith would then be unshakable. But, in fact, I was very wobbly in those early days, oscillating perpetually between certainty and doubt. Regarding the verses above, one far-fetched theory I honestly entertained for a time was that such knowledge may have been imparted by an advanced civilisation — extraterrestrials or time-travellers — visiting Arabia in ancient times.

I suppose it was only natural then that in those early days of hesitant faith I would be tested in kind. And so it was that when I moved up to Scotland for my masters degree in 1999 and took up residence in a castle three miles from my university, my faith would be tested by a landlord and fellow locals completely adamant that UFOs had frequently been sighted in the skies over Falkirk and Stirling.

Naturally, when a close friend of mine once visited from London, he quickly concluded that I was surrounded by complete nutcases, their judgement impaired by their excessive consumption of super-strength cider. But daft as it sounds today, such was the extent of local mythology about the Scottish Roswell — apparently nothing to do with their proximity to RAF Leuchars — that their certainty collided with my doubt. It was if to say, “Maybe there’s something in that hypothesis of yours.”

Fortunately, my landlord would soon utter just enough plain nonsense to convince me that he was actually just a looney and complete fantasist, who simply enjoyed spinning a yarn to keep us on our toes. To top it off, it turned out that his expert witness in the case of their very own UFO visitation was in fact nearly blind — which unfortunately only came to light when he drove his car through closed traffic-control barriers. Perhaps all of this explains why I have very low tolerance for people who preface every remark with the turn of phrase, “I’m not making this up…”

In the years since then, many a personal test has seemed to be a response to whatever happened to preoccupy me at that moment. Some such tests are quite mundane, concerning the ordinary passage of life. My own diagnosis was preceded by a dream of a tumultuous flood that overwhelmed us, which somehow prepared me for that devastating blow. Other tests we hardly notice until afterwards, when it occurs to us that we failed them completely. But now and then, the tests are completely perplexing and bizarre. I think I have just emerged on the other side of one of those.

Yes, it’s certainly true that we’re tested by what occupies us. The likes of status. Worldly success. Old wounds. The sense of self. Personal ambition. Insecurities and doubts. Past yearnings. Envy and anxiety. Inner philosophising. Family interactions. Feelings of belonging. Youthful desires. It goes on like this. Without a doubt, I have been tested by all of these.

Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tried? But We have certainly tried those before them, and God will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars.

Quran 29:2-3

How I have fared in these tests of life, only God knows. Sadly, most of the time I only recognised them after the event, when taking stock. As true today as it ever was, reflecting on that great despondent morass I’ve just left behind. Signs on the horizons and within yourselves.