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If all the noise online is anything to go by, it must be very hard to be a shy young man today. Nobody seems to be offering helpful advice about pursuing healthy relationships.

Instead, they’re being bombarded with unrealistic notions of masculinity, real men, alpha males and the manosphere. Soon enough, influencers will convince these young men that they’re involuntarily celibate, and there is no hope for them, only angry despair.

What a depressing outlook. Who will say to these young men, “No it’s not like that”? Who will speak to them of true love? Who will suggest, “Be patient”? Who will say, “Your time will come”? Who will challenge modern ideas of instant gratification? Who will replace notions of getting laid with the pursuit of meaningful and lasting relationships?

Modern representations of relationships set up men like these to fail. The language used is often crude, speaking of body counts to quantify the tally of intimate encounters. Mating rituals are made to take place only in the bar, nightclub or party, while completely inebriated. A hopeless caricature which must be challenged.

Who will affirm that one day, when the time is right, they will meet the soulmate destined for them? Who will quietly suggest that a bar or nightclub is not the ideal location for finding a compatible partner? Who will suggest finding a hobby, or throwing themselves into voluntary work, or widening their circles, or broadening their horizons?

Young men like these need to be given a message of hope. To be reminded that, yes, there are shy young women out there too, likewise looking for their soulmate. For every soul there is a companion in waiting. Be patient, have faith and your turn will come, just when you’re least expecting it. Yes, and it will blow you away.