folio

Apparently, I have a suspicious face. So several enforcers of the law have told me through the years.

And the latest: a council official at the recycling centre, interrogating me to ascertain that my load is household waste and I am a resident.

Even after listing the contents of my vehicle in flustered detail and providing my postcode, he still looks at me suspiciously, as if I’m a crook.

There’s no point appealing to my lineage, the respectability of my parents, or my gainful employment. Apparently, I have a look about me.

Is it that shifty gaze that everyone finds so problematic? Is it a deficiency in social attention? Or do I simply have mannerisms that betray ill-intent?

I always find it amusing that I’m thought to be a very bad person, because you couldn’t find anyone much more boring than me.

Petty criminal, dodgy geezer: me?