Most of us converts live solitary lives. By which I mean, we’re usually the only person in our extended families and friendship groups to take up the path. Indeed, many of us come from environments which make that seem highly unlikely, if not impossible.

The sister of hardcore secularists. The son of a Jewish rabbi. The daughter of an evangelical preacher. The eldest son of an elite Brahmin family. The daughter of a government minister. The son of a great industrialist.

Most of us travel this lonely road alone. Some of our friends say they respect us for it, but nevertheless have no interest in joining us. Most of our siblings, even after decades, still find it hard to come to terms with. Our colleagues, if they ever find out, generally view us as mild eccentrics.

Some of us occasionally find an ally in a family member — an uncle more worldly wise, or a grandparent, perhaps — but even they are unlikely to embrace what we have embraced. These are the peacemakers of community, who see the good it has brought to our lives, but are nevertheless content with what they have.

Others adopt secret lives, internalising their faith completely, hiding it from all but their closest confidants. For the young Brahmin chap, perhaps his only hope is in finding another Brahmin convert to marry, similarly obscuring her newfound faith. These are the hard choices of life.

If we were to wait for others to believe as we believe, we would never have come this far. But our job is not to carry others along with us, however much we might desire to. Our task is to let our faith infuse our being and change us for the better. Our job: to respond to the invitation to reform our souls.

Perhaps our friends will never accept it from us. It’s possible that some of them will discard us. Our closest may support us, but never really become convinced. And our parents, siblings, cousins? Sometimes it does happen that the whole family takes up the path, but not very often.

For the most part, we are on our own. But no matter. Go on treating them with kindness. Lower to them the wing of mercy. Build bridges, not walls. Be dutiful to them in every good thing. In time, they will respect you for it.

Believing is a matter of personal conscience. Nobody else can believe for us. It is a choice for the individual. You either believe or you don’t. It’s no good waiting to see what your friends or relatives think. Perhaps they themselves are highly invested in another tradition altogether.

It may well be that you will always be a solitary believer. So be it. Perhaps you will find on the road less travelled kindred spirits. Come as you are.


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