folio

What can make a person believe? A pamphlet? A YouTube video? A blog post? A chat in the street? A profound experience? For some, any of these. For others, none at all.

I don’t really think it’s as easy as that. You may be briefly persuaded by an argument or claim, but there’s no guarantee it will remain convincing for long. You may equally be persuaded by a counterclaim. Or you may persist in a belief for a long period of time, only for it to eventually be challenged by new evidence.

I came to a certainty of belief around the age of fifteen: a belief in the meaningless, purposelessness and nothingness of life. A belief that negated the religious faith I was raised in. But that atheism could not be sustained. In time, it gave way to agnosticism, a more honest position: that is, to be uncertain.

Some years later, I came to another certainty. This time, a certainty of faith. Or, at least, a momentary certainty of faith. For, in truth, it took years for that faith to stabilise. In the early years along the path, I continued to consider other opinions and outlooks, sometimes shaking my nascent faith to its core. But that’s the nature of a search: it challenges you constantly.

Fast forward a quarter of a century and ask me where I stand now. For sure, my faith would be found wanting by many believers. Certainly, I no longer find the simple preaching of many a proselytizer very convincing. I choose to hold fast to a practical faith: the lived experience. As for the intellectual faith: that’s more of a challenge.

For some, it’s crystal clear. For others, a constant journey of discovery, of weighing up the evidence, of evaluating different histories, of engaging deeply with ancient texts. Each to their own, we might say, according to their own abilities. For others still, a mission to assimilate whatever sits well with them. How else to engage with the sometimes odious caricature of faith, perpetuated from both within and without?

Belief is something inward. It’s to do with sincerity and personal conscience, and seeking to avoid hypocrisy. To be convinced within yourself that something is true. It cannot be made real by force or dogma. For some, of great intellect, it may be an empirical effort, requiring years of study, and of weighing up evidences. For others, an innate feeling borne of experiences of the world.

What may persuade one person may not convince another. What may touch the heart of some, may have no impact on others at all. Some who claim to be unshakeable may be the weakest of believers. Others struggling to reconcile themselves to their inheritance may have discovered a truer faith. In the end, God guides whoever He wills.