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Things can only get wetter. That was the key takeaway of the prime minister’s farcical speech calling an election this afternoon.

There the poor chap was, standing at the podium on the steps of 10 Downing Street, in pouring rain, getting soaked through in his best business suit…

And then some joker starts blasting the New Labour anthem of 1997 from a loud speaker, “Things can only get better,”  drowning out his words.

The perfect farce to end this government’s rule, five years after we thought things couldn’t get any worse.

At one point, it looked like he might give up. “You know what,” we thought he was going to say, “I can’t be bothered. I have a Green Card. I’m off.”

Instead, he just reeled off a list of bogeymen he would protect us from. Weaponised illegal migration. Vlad the Mad. Cyber criminals. Islamist extremists. Kier Starmer.

My brother noted he picked Independence Day. Was that, he wondered, in the hope that the aliens would return and distract everyone from voting?

Maybe it was more about heading off a leadership challenge from Cruella Deville, currently giving the Dalmatians a rest as she focuses on tormenting student protesters in a bid to appeal to voters.

Well, she can always defect to Reform UK, or commence an illustrious career on talk radio. As for poor Richi? I suspect he also has a lucrative consultancy lined up on the other side of the Atlantic. There must be a Foundation in waiting.

All in all, it was the perfect summation of this government’s chaotic rule. Will it forever be remembered as the drowning street speech? Or simply as the last damp squib of a pathetic party?