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It’s amusing now to think of all the trouble I got myself into in my efforts to be an honourable young man.

There I was, trying to do the right thing, while all around me, my companions pursued the immediacy and transience of their carnal desires.

Once, a threat of violence. Another time, harassment. And then, finally, when I found the one who would marry me, total opposition. 

On the evening after the conversation with my family, my earnest prayer was not that the way be made smooth for me, but that God take away my life right then.

Faced by those relentless pressures, I thought it was a test I didn’t have the strength to bear. Horrific as it seems today, my prayer just then was sincere and true.

Shortly afterwards, I dispatched an email to the one who had introduced us, asking him to tell my bride-to-be to forget about me.

Fortunately, she was more resolute than I was, better able to discern a forward path.

She booked a table at an Italian restaurant on Ealing Broadway. My parents travelled down from Yorkshire to meet her. It seemed to help.

Just a few weeks later, we’d marry at the town hall mere footsteps away. Not even the IRA bombing a nearby pub the day before could stop us.

Despite appearances, the way was made smooth for us. All these years later, my wife enjoys an excellent relationship with my family, alhamdulilah.

Though it didn’t seem like it at the time, those honourable intentions were rewarded. I consider my wife my best friend, who stood by me through thick and thin, mashallah.

We have had a life of tests. Some of them seemed too difficult to bear at the time, but “verily, after difficulty comes ease.”

Alhamdulilah that God did not take away my life twenty-three years ago, as I asked. Alhamdulilah for the life that was granted us in its place.

In the moment, the pursuit of an honourable relationship can seem scarcely worth it. So much trouble and strife. But, in the end, it is worth the world.

Pursue the honourable relationship you deserve.