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In life, it seems, I am forever destined to take up the role of defender of geeks. Geek advocate general.

Always at the ready to stand up for the nerdy ones in their hour of need. Aways on hand to fight their corner.

If anyone’s going to be set upon for no reason whatsoever by a crowd of overexcited youth, drunk on their own adrenaline, it’s the geek kid.

If anyone’s going to be taught a lesson by a gaggle of giggling girls for the heinious crime of liking one of them, it’s nerd boy.

Both fact and fiction confirms this to be true. How many gang murders of the quiet and conscientious must we see?

As for the world of fiction: nerd boy falling for beauty queen has become such a stereotype that every nerd still believes he has a chance, despite all contrary evidence.

Nerds are my people: the one group I feel I truly belong to. We’re a multiethnic, multicultural, multilingual fraternity, male and female.

Belonging seems to be an accident of birth. Nerdiness generally doesn’t run in the family, and doesn’t seem to be inherited.

If you’ve been bestowed the title geek, it’s just what you are. You can’t change it, although some try to mask it with drugs and alcohol.

Others over-compensate by becoming ruthless billionaires who convince the non-nerd masses to buy their nerdy tech as payback.

Most of us, though, live very boring, mundane lives, quietly contributing to the world around us from the far periphery, largely unseen.

The job of the geek advocate general is to rush to their defence at the slightest murmur of the N word, even if that means rebuking our own teenage children or their friends.

Don’t ever call them a geek or a nerd in our presence. Only we are allowed to deploy these epithets for ourselves.

Amongst those that brandish these words as cutting insults are not just the immature youth, but also the respectable and wise, always ready to deploy a hilarious putdown when the moment demands it.

Don’t be surprised then if the geek advocate momentarily loses his manners, and calls the eminent and honourable sage a great buffoon to his face.

The geek advocate has had a lifetime of training, always the butt of the jokes in company. Nothing he does can change this.

Thus has he embraced what and how he is. And thus does he rush to the defence of all other geeks and nerds, whoever and wherever they are.

Supernerd. King of the geeks. Geek advocate general. You’ve been warned!