The best way to prevent the boats would be to stop going around the world telling everyone how great Britain is.
A simple rebranding exercise should do it. On all official signage and letterheads, replace the ‘Great’ with ‘Shit’.
So as not to damage the fragile pride of the natives, this brand shall only be applied abroad.
To passify the uppity locals, we will of course reaffirm that we are very great indeed.
Only foreigners need know the truth.
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Last modified: 12 December 2023
