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It’s time for another of those conversations with my nafs…

Yes, the same one I’ve had a hundred times before…

About the latest project… resurrected… likewise dismantled and obliterated a hundred times before…

The voice of resolve petitions me once more… delete it… do it now, before you have a change of heart…

And perhaps I will do as this inner voice of resolve demands, for in my heart I know it to be of no benefit at all… in which none will be in the slightest interested.

So why make all this effort, or expend all these energies, for what in the end you will abandon eventually… sooner or later?

Do as your inner conscience demands… wipe it away… wipe the slate clean… start anew… refocus your intentions… purify your heart…

I must confess that my soul is right… and I am much resigned to its call… and pretty much concur… and don’t much feel like resisting…

I think I will probably do as it asks, recognising the source of the latest resurgence, that shortlived belief in an idea…

This the inner conversation that precedes the act of putting things right… the realisation… the recognition…

The recollection of our ultimate destination… remembering a day we will all be held to account… the desire to be accepted by the One in whose hands is our souls…

Yes, this is the conversation of this evening… break those inner idols once more… put everything right… refocus on what is essential…

And if none of that helps, just remember this immutable truth: nobody at all has ever had any interest in anything you’ve put forth before!

Leave it now. Leave it all. Return to God, and ask that He replace it with something better than it, which will be of benefit to you and the world…

Tame this inner fire… quench the flames… yes, do it now before you have a change of heart… do what you know to be right, no matter how it pains you…

Wipe it all out and make istighfar. Rectify your affairs before you are rectified. Return to the way from which you have deviated.

All of this, my evening’s conversation with my own soul…