Dear concerned friend. Thank you for your heartfelt advice, unsolicited though it was. Let’s distill it down: the key takeaway for me was that we’re failed parents. I’ll admit, the timing wasn’t great, as I’ve only just got over my last crisis of confidence.
I appreciate your intentions were good and you were just trying to help, but sometimes the kindest course of action is to just say nothing. At most you could have said, “Don’t worry so much, it will all be fine, trust in God, you’re doing great.”
Because even if we’re not doing great, at least it would give us the determination to struggle on. But as it is, now I just feel like a complete failure all over again. Your intervention didn’t boost my confidence; I just felt judged, devalued as an underachiever once more.
Unhelpful, really, when we’re trying our best. Perhaps a gentle word of encouragement would have had a more positive effect. You never know: it might have put a smile on my face and made me think, “We’ve got this.”
Last modified: 22 June 2023
