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Alhamdulilah, I’m on good terms with my family today, but it wasn’t always so. Most siblings, whatever their fractious relationships in adolescence, tend to bond as they enter adulthood.

Regrettably I sabotaged that opportunity by becoming a Muslim just as we should have been enjoying each other’s company. That was a hard act to swallow, having grown up in an environment in which our faith pervaded everything.

In those early days, my own profession of faith was viewed as a selfish act of rebellion, calculated to cause maximum upset to my parents. Naturally those suspicions only deepened the rift between us.

In those early days, I was seen to be cutting myself off from my family, driving a wedge between us. I, on the other hand, felt myself completely isolated. A repeat of experiences in education, only now with my family.

The way in which I approached marriage only compounded the problem. It was sudden, unexpected, a shock. My family considered it an arranged marriage: arranged by others, that is.

That was the first time we had a really frank discussion about my conversion. I guess it confirmed that I really believed in it: that it wasn’t just a phase I was going through. The pressure not to marry that way and so soon was immense, but in the end I went ahead anyway.

My eldest brother came to witness my marriage. He clealy wasn’t happy, looking most distressed — it felt more like a funeral than the happiest day of my life. My two grandmothers came too. As the peacemaker of the family, only my paternal grandmother really seemed happy for me.

A year later, when we celebrated our marriage again in Istanbul, my parents and middle brother this time attended. In the end it turned out that marriage would begin to repair my relationship with my parents. Perhaps it helped that my wife could better articulate my feelings than I could.

It took much longer for us siblings to repair our relationships. In truth, we have never been close. Mostly I blame myself, being too timid and embarrassed to make the first move. With baby steps, we’re on good terms today, but we’ll never have that strong bond I see between them.

There’s nothing in my faith which says cut yourself off. If anything, maintaining the ties of kinship is highly emphasised. What happened between us: these are just the dynamics of reality. Of how families deal with the unfamiliar, before we have the benefit of wisdom and maturity.

I regret many a misstep along the road. I regret sabotaging relationships at a time when I really needed the support of my family. But, alhamdulilah, we’ve had the opportunity to make amends, rebuild trust, apologise to one another and be forgiving. Ahead of us, the rest of our lives.