folio

The Hindu far-right seem to be obsessed with their Love Jihad conspiracy. This the idea that there’s a deliberate ploy of Muslims to convert Hindus and others to Islam by pretending to fall in love. I suppose that’s a little more creative than the British narrative concerning Asian grooming gangs, despite most such offenders being white.

Concerns about cross-cultural relationships are not confined to nationalist India, of course. Even my own family misremembered that I had written a novel about an imagined relationship between a Muslim girl and white boy, and initially attributed my conversion to such a relationship. They were mistaken, however, because there was no such girl at all.

Do people embrace different faiths because of love? Undoubtedly. We’ve all witnessed this in our personal relationships, with one half of a partnership embracing or accommodating the faith of another, whether out of sincere conviction or respect to the wider family. Yet do the practising faithful set out on a mission to actively court love as a mean of proselytisation? Personally, I very much doubt it.

But do Muslim boys fall in love with Hindu girls? Why not? Do Christian boys fall in love with Sikh girls? I think they do. Do Christian girls fall in love Muslim boys? Do Hindu men fall in love with Christian women? Have Christians, Hindus, Sikhs, Jews, Buddhists and others not intermarried for generations? They have indeed. In earlier times, syncretic identities enabled love to flourish across cultural divides. In modern times, cultural assimilation has enabled much the same.

Do people convert to other faiths for the sake of love? Yes they do. Do they also convert for other reasons? Yes, that too. In some families, converting to another faith can be a dangerous thing to do. In those scenarios, conversion is not for the faint hearted. Hardly the frivolous act characterised by proponents of the Love Jihad conspiracy.

The same could be said of a cross-cultural relationship, of course, where persistent threats of violence can loom large. You may imagine here that I am speaking of traditional family honour, but I am thinking too of the behaviour of far-right white nationalists, who have been known to throw their daughters down the stairs for transgressing family norms.

The Arabic word jihad actually translates as ‘to struggle for something’. Perhaps we should reclaim the phrase Love Jihad then, for many of those pursuing relationships across cultural boundaries are indeed engaged in a great struggle. Sometimes they have their entire family against them, intent on slandering both them and their beloved. Sometimes they end up on the run, estranged from their family. Sometimes they end up disfigured, maimed or even dead for the crime of marrying outside their ethnic group, tribe, clan or religion.

For sure, to remain steadfast in the face of such opposition, from parents, siblings, uncles and aunts, friends, the community, neighbourhood or entire town takes real strength. Yes, that is a real jihad. Hats off to those who persevere in the pursuit of a marriage built on true love, despite the fiercest of opposition from those who should really be most interested in their personal happiness. Respect too to those families and parents who allow their children to marry the partner of their choice. That’s their own jihad.