How much money do we need to make? We encounter people working so hard that they seem not to have what I would call an ordinary family life. By ordinary, I mean being around for your family. Near at hand. Not far away.
When I ask them whether it’s time to settle down a bit, they rattle off a long list of expenses that keep them perpetually busy. Weddings for their children, at some point in the future. Repairs to their home and planned extensions. Homes for their kids. A new car. School fees. On and on like this.
Legitimate concerns. We all have worries as to how we’re going to afford this thing called life, which daily grows ever more costly. But a part of living this thing we call life is making compromises, and prioritising what really matters. Sometimes that’s those things that money can’t buy.
Let me be honest. I’d love to live in a nice big house. But I can’t afford it, so we make do with what we have. I’d love to drive a Tesla too, but I definitely can’t afford that, so sensible family car it is. As for setting the stage for our children: of course, we’re going to play our part in facilitating their onward path, but they too are going to have to struggle just as we all did.
I’m sorry, but we won’t be throwing a fifty-thousand pound wedding for our kids. We got married for about two thousand pounds two decades ago. Perhaps they will have a grander affair than ours, but nope, we’re not going to destroy ourselves for the sake of extravagant celebrations completely out of our reach.
Recent natural disasters in Turkey and elsewhere ought to put all of this in perspective. One of my wife’s closest friends lost eighteen members of her family. Some families have been completely wiped off the face of the earth. In others, only one person remains of a sprawling family that once predominated in a town or village.
In the end, you need to be with those you love. Yes, work hard to provide for your family and build a better future, if the Most Merciful wills, but be mindful of the present too. There is so much that money can’t buy.
Perhaps being there will be more valuable to your children than whatever you think you might buy them in the future. Perhaps what your wife desires more than a diamond ring or a new kitchen is care and attention, and someone to talk to and hold. Think about it, perhaps.
Last modified: 28 February 2023
