folio

A positive trait in people with this condition? Some people say we are very kind, and like to be helpful to others.

But who knows if this is a trait explicitly linked to that extra chromosome. It’s just as likely that having experienced adversity in our own lives, we feel that other people facing adversity also need help in theirs. Perhaps it’s just the natural empathy borne of our own experiences.

Looking back, I could say that at times I made myself helpful in pursuit of acceptance. Perhaps that was because the deficits and delays generated so much reproach from the adults in my life, that I was simply desperate for some kind of positive feedback. So you make up for the perennial accusation that you’re lazy academically and socially, by making yourself indispensable as a helping hand.

Is that still true? I would say that by now it is just second nature. If my elderly neighbour calls asking for help with something, I will drop around immediately, no questions asked. To me, it’s just what any decent human being would do. When someone asks, you respond, fi sabilillah.

In our lives, we are defined both by nature and nurture: in part by our genetic make up, but also by our upbringing, environment, social circumstances, education and so much more. I have no doubt that being raised in a religious cultural milieu had a major impact on the formation of my character. Certainly, I took many a lesson from Sunday School to heart in early childhood.

Honestly, I always thought helping others was part of the natural order. I thought this is what makes us human. It never occurred to me that we should only be self-interested. I thought our job in life is to serve. I think many people would see this as their role in life. Still, if adversity made me more attentive to the needs of others, alhamdulilah. A positive outcome I could embrace.