Sometimes, no matter how wise you are, there is wisdom in determining to speak only about affairs you are intimately familiar with.
The former Muslim, now rabidly islamophobic? We did that. The Muslim convert driven out of her religion? Yes, we did that too. The shame is on us. They came to us begging for help, and we cast them out, turned them away. Our cowardice created them. When they would not quieten down, instead of listening more …
Our activism seems to work like this: take an issue that is really happening, embellish the facts and then tell the community at large: “If you don’t take a stand you will be asked about it on the Day of Judgement.” Luckily on non-issues, such as gangsterism, grooming gangs, drug abuse, domestic violence and the …
Dear activist. Our Creator is in control. Our Lord is continually exposing us on account of our rampant hypocrisy. Allah is not islamophobic. Our sins are being laid bare because we refuse to hold ourselves to account. Our Lord perpetually reminds us that He alone is to be worshipped, the object of our devotion. Not …
It can be fun replying to the fake bank manager of an impoverished nation promising to transfer 3 million dollars to your private bank account, but you must resist. Alas, they will not see the funny side and will instead send an avalanche of tasteless spam in your direction. Save your sarcasm for someone who …
I used Google Translate set to conversation mode to interpret the speech for me this morning, but even it struggled to understand the Punjurdlish. But at least the old men had a nice time.
My generation enjoyed an adolescence with the sage advice of Noel Gallagher ringing in their ears: But please don’t put your life in the hands Of a Rock n Roll band Who’ll throw it all away The social media generation needs someone to set to music a ditty about not investing everything in a YouTube …
Yes, I know there is agreement on such and such amongst those that agree, but please do note that those that disagree disagree. Purely stating that there is agreement amongst unspecified individuals is not proof of anything. Furthermore, even if everyone really did agree, they could still be completely wrong. But as we tend to …
Is there anyone left in the village of childhood, or have we all dispersed? Here I am, three hundred miles south, wondering what became of my tribe. Most of us, it seems, have ended up in satellite towns orbiting the capital, our childhood roots forgotten. We came from the village, but now we’re of the …
A friend of mine from school is an amateur standup comic. This is a great thing. We celebrate amateur standup comics. To stand up in a comedy club and make people laugh: what an incredible feat.
A friend of mine — possibly beyond crisis-of-faith mode and now savouring full-blown rejection — regularly sends me videos featuring the idiocy of presumed scholars, past and present, as they mangle religion and make a mockery of it with absolute sincerity and conviction. His contention, I think, is that their lunacy is proof of the …
Fallen on hard times, the pious chap mumbles, “Allah will provide.” Most of us have been there at one time or other. Of course, ultimately this is true. But what the unfortunate fellow should admit is, “My wife provides, with her full time job, whose salary I spend on the household and on putting my …
There is a humble dry-cleaning business in the heart of Kensington frequented by the rich and famous. Norman Lamont, David Beckham, Idris Elba and Simon Cowell pop in from time to time, to have their fine garments restored and pressed. These well-to-do probably don’t think much of the presumed immigrants that serve them. But if there’s …
It’s a good job the Daily Mail isn’t held to account for historically publishing anti-Semitic views, praising fascists and dehumanising refugees, be they German Jews in 1938 or Syrian Muslims in 2018. Sadly those brandishing accusations of anti-Semitism as a weapon to silence their opponents are completely oblivious to their own actions. They utilise today …
