Fallen on hard times, the pious chap mumbles, “Allah will provide.” Most of us have been there at one time or other. Of course, ultimately this is true. But what the unfortunate fellow should admit is, “My wife provides, with her full time job, whose salary I spend on the household and on putting my children through university, and who cooks and cleans and washes the whole family’s clothes, while I spend my days grooming my beard and praying for succour, convincing myself and others that I have complete tawakkul.” Alas, the poor chap has nothing he can spend on his household, except for the meagre child benefit he receives from the state. Hence his perpetual refrain, even as he relies on everyone other than himself to see him through. Such is the tangle of hard times.

There is a humble dry-cleaning business in the heart of Kensington frequented by the rich and famous. Norman Lamont, David Beckham, Idris Elba and Simon Cowell pop in from time to time, to have their fine garments restored and pressed. These well-to-do probably don’t think much of the presumed immigrants that serve them. But if there’s anything that we can learn from the fascinating family history of Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, it is that the intermingling of cultures has long reached even into the very heart of the establishment. Continue reading “Lost tribes” →

Iran must stop steering their country into the flightpath of American drones.

It’s a good job the Daily Mail isn’t held to account for historically publishing anti-Semitic views, praising fascists and dehumanising refugees, be they German Jews in 1938 or Syrian Muslims in 2018. Sadly those brandishing accusations of anti-Semitism as a weapon to silence their opponents are completely oblivious to their own actions. They utilise today the exact same dehumanising tools that led to the slaughter of millions of Jews in Europe in the last century. These people are unserious in their condemnation of anti-Semitism, for if they were they would stand against all forms of racism and prejudice which seeks to make other humans unworthy aliens, undeserving of aid or compassion. If people truly familiarised themselves with the vitriol European Jews faced in the early years of the twentieth century, and what it led to, I am sure they would mend their ways, and speak out about all behaviour that mirrors it today. But alas, this is the era of sloganeering, when nothing is ever truly meant. People speak, but have absolutely know idea what they are saying.

Dear great American radical. Here, let’s make a deal. If I promise not to offer a running commentary on American Islam, will you do the same, and stop pontificating on British Islam? I wouldn’t know where to start with the controversies that occupy American Muslims, and wouldn’t dare. Really, you should have a little humility and cease referencing the British Muslim experience in your diatribes, because apart from regurgitating the views of your friends at 5Pillars, you really, clearly you know nothing at all. Let’s stay in our lanes. America is enough for you. Please leave the rest of us alone.

A song about Saudi Arabia sighting the moon for Eid.

 

 

When family friends asked what I was doing these days when I disappeared after my A-Levels, my father would reply, “He’s in Cambridge,” and leave it at that. A few years later, to concerned relatives he would say, “He’s working off Berkeley Square now.” Continue reading “High fliers” →