Projections

Throughout my life, in understanding their actions towards me, I have projected assumed piety onto others. In my mind’s eye, I convince myself that their behaviour was justified, in upholding lofty principles or morals.

But more often than not it eventually turns out I was just easily bullied. Indeed, mostly there were no principles at stake at all: it was just about putting me in my place, whatever that was supposed to be.

Sometimes this can be hard to take in, especially after a lifetime projecting goodness and virtue onto their character, imagining that their actions were driven by sound intentions. At times, it results in an overwhelming sense of disappointment.

Yet I don’t begrudge my imagination, ascribing to them excellence of character. It’s just something to hold fast to, and believe in. It enables me to think of them in a positive light when I remember them in my prayers.

If I wronged them, may God forgive me. If they wronged me, may God forgive them too. May the One seed peace between us, and rectify whatever once went wrong. May He grant us truly excellent character, and actions driven by good intentions alone. May they be all I imagined them to be. And may I be worthy too.

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