“Now that you’ve done the decorating… are you going to put coving up? It’ll look nice.”

“Not unless you want to hear a lot of shouting and swearing! Better leave that one to the professionals.”

“Why do you say that? I’m happy with the jobs you’ve done so far.”

This is where I glance around at my house full of bodges. “I’ll think about it,” I say, which is the diplomatic way of saying, “Not on your nelly!”

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