Call back

Repeatedly, my lower self calls me back to what is of no benefit at all, neither for me nor any other.

Sometimes I resist, closing that door firmly shut, recalling, “We have been here before.” Sometimes I succumb, giving in to those inner arguments: “What harm can it do?”

This is my life, over and over. Yesterday I responded to its call. This morning I petition myself: “Repent, return, reform.” This battle within never ends, it seems. These skirmishes, offensives and counter-offensives. On and on.

It’s hard to close the door on desirous things, which bubble up from the deepest recesses of the soul. They call me back. But I know I must call back too: “Not this time, o nafs! I’m seeking something higher than this.”

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