On Saturday, we will be attending the engagement party of one of my wife’s cousins — just a toddler when I first came to Turkey twenty-one years ago. She’ll be getting married some time next year.

Which once again stirs the question in my mind: “Why didn’t we do that?”

It’s not that our rush to marry just weeks after meeting didn’t work out; it’s just it caused a lot of tension in my family at the time. With hindsight, I admit we could have been wiser.

But then, of course, we were oblivious to that tradition. We just wanted to make it halal, as guided by those around us then. Perhaps we were young and naive then, but our naivety served us very well.

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