What do I want? Vengeance? Compensation? Validation? No, nothing like that. I don’t really want anything actually. All I really want is the best for people. That’s the only reason I can think of for these notions to have been injected into my mind this past winter.
It feel like I was inspired to think of them for no other reason than that I remember them in my prayers. A bit like that time I spontaneously messaged an old friend residing overseas and ended up meeting him just hours later for tea. My life has been weird like that lately.
Honestly, I don’t want anything from anyone at all. I don’t think that’s the reason these words were whispered into my heart. I think I was just supposed to think of these people in the months of Rajab, Sha’ban and Ramadan. Perhaps there’s a metaphysical connection to a fast which inspired me twenty-seven years ago, or summut.
I feel that our paths crossed for a good reason back then. I didn’t see that at the time, looking forward, but I see it now, looking back. Why else do I remember these names, but few others? I didn’t see it then, but all that happened was good, carrying me on to something greater.
Perhaps this all sounds completely whack, like a born-again evangelist completely off his head. Rest assured, I’m no pious sage, no sat guru, no learned sheikh. I’m just a wandering daydreamer, burdened by a mountain of sins, rambling, rambling about the strangeness that is life itself to complete strangers, unknown.