Dear management committee.
Open your eyes. Note the diversity of your community. I appreciate that the majority in the community originate in historic Punjab, but glance over the faces before you: Africans, Europeans, East Asians, West Asians, not to mention a young generation whose first language is English. There’s no excuse for a complete lack of English anymore.
As for the thirty-minute recitation of the Annual Accounts in Punjurdlish… just print them out and tell those interested they can find them on the notice board or your website. This morning was supposed to be a joyous celebration, marking the end of thirty days of austerity.
Oh well. I suppose we must all make hijra to Cambridge or back to London if we want something better. Here the khutbah we could have had:
Eid Mubarak anyway!