To be generous to both ourselves and others, we can concede that there are many reasons a person may treat us the way they do. It may not just be that I’m an idiot and they’re mean. So many other things could be going on.
Their behaviour could be a defensive mechanism. It could be their own involuntary reaction to prejudice, discrimination or bullying at the hands of others. It may be their way of dealing with restrictions placed on them. It might be their response to their own poor health. It could be their desire to fit in with the crowd around them.
But yes, then again, it could just be because I’m an idiot. Or because I’m extremely paranoid. As the years pass by, we learn to be more generous, even to old foes. Give the other their seventy excuses. Nothing is ever as it first seems.