I don’t know what I’ve done. I commissioned an editor to review the manuscript I spent my holidays and weekends editing throughout 2021. I’ve spent a fortune on it… but now it’s hit me and thrown me against the wall… what was I thinking? Why did I even write that novel? What was I setting out to achieve? What right did I have to tell that story? What did I do it for? Now I’m thinking to myself: I can never publish this. Now I’m saying: I wouldn’t dare. But after spending so much, do I have a choice now? I feel so blue. Reading it through, I just think to myself: “this utter crap”. Really, I just wonder what I’ve done. Publish and be damned.