I say that I fear fame, but I think that what I really fear is rebuke.
But, then again, how many times have I deleted a social media account, or extracted myself from a WhatsApp group, or suddenly gone running for the hills?
Perhaps it is the same thing. I self-censor fearing rebuke, even if none is offered.
I publish and withdraw. Write and withdraw. Message and withdraw. Speak and withdraw.
Why? Because the little voice within whispers into my ear: “You’re an idiot.”
Perhaps my biggest critic is that little voice within, perpetually rebuking me.
It’s rebuking me even now, saying: “Oh, look at you and your ego!”