Then there is the reality check, in which I recall what caused my withdrawal on my last (very brief) attempt to publish in 2013…
The egomania involved in promoting yourself to the world. It is vulgar, and I hated it.
Yes, and I have watched good folk kill their hearts in this selling business, creating needless controversies all over just to remain relevant and visible amongst the masses.
In these times, to sell your work (a book, your training courses, your lectures), you must recite the perpetual refrain: “Here I am, here I am, here I am.” Or: “Look at me.” Or: “Remember me.”
So then, it is a lost cause. Reboot. Reorientate. A question to myself: what am I doing it for?
Not for the money. To escape the glorified admin job in IT? Seriously? Not to be a superstar. To stave off the third mid-life crisis? Or just a wee hobby, more enjoyable than watching football or mowing the lawn. Hmm, I don’t know.
I kid myself to think I might ever be a published author. Let me stay in my lane, and remember who I am.