Lie in it

After complaining about and vilifying for years Afghan families making perilous journeys from the east, all across Europe and the English channel, British news anchors now say in all seriousness: “Why do all these people suddenly want to leave Afghanistan? We didn’t see an exodus like this before!”

The stupidity of those who set the national mood is endless. They can’t even remember their own narrative now, contradicting themselves day after day. Of course people want to leave a poor country where they have no prospects: no jobs, extreme poverty, unimaginable difficulty, the scars of decades of conflict.

And our bankrupt and spineless politicians? Well the focus groups said people want to see more Union Jacks, so they must tread carefully as they attempt futilely to unpick two decades of domestic propaganda.

Go easy on our poor overlords; forgive masters Raab and Wallace caught sleeping on the job again, for it has been a difficult year, what with sending gun ships to collect PPE from Asia and belatedly understanding the significance of the Dover-Calais crossing to UK trade.

Well, we only have ourselves to blame, willingly embracing the platter of lies served to us for breakfast every morning, then washing it down with a carafe of narcissistic pride and undiluted malice. We made this bed for ourselves.

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