For the majority of my life, I have been driven and dominated by my lower self.
If others knew all that I have done and what I hide inside, they would disown me. I disown myself.
All I have to hold onto now is hope in the mercy of my Lord. “And who despairs of the mercy of God except one who has gone astray…”
Now my only prayer: that He forgives me, guides me and reforms my soul. This my daily prayer. Hope in His mercy, but perpetually in a state of regret, fearful that my remorse can never be enough.
Nightly I recall all I have done. Nightly I call out for His clemency. O Allah, have mercy on this wayward soul who has wronged himself and others.
O Allah, shower me in mercy, rectify for me all of my affairs and set me on a straight way.
Without the One who created me, time, the universe and every atom, all I am left with is regret.