Bum Fresh

A concerned (presumably) Muslamic citizen warns us this weekend not to buy Marks and Spencer’s aloe vera toilet paper, because on opening the packaging for his purchase in his car, he realised it is imprinted with Allah’s name in Arabic.

As you’d expect, this video clip has now been shared thousands of times on Whatsapp and social media, even beyond these shores, prompting self-congratulatory hilarity amongst anti-muslim bigots and victimised laments from worried Muslims in equal measure.

Marks and Spencer, meanwhile, insist that their aloe vera toilet paper is (naturally enough) imprinted with a motif which resembles an aloe vera plant. I think we can clearly see who is to blame.

Yes, aloe vera itself, for having spiky, curvy leaves, which when viewed from the side, vaguely resembles God’s name when inked in Arabic calligraphy, a bit like miraculous cirrus clouds observed from afar.

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