One of you

I am not one of you because I cannot find my feet. 

I want to stand proud, but I’m too quick to admit defeat. 

I want to be just like you; you’re so self-assured, 

Thinking about my own life, I can tell you, I just get bored. 

I hate my selfish, self-centred ways. 

I hate them, but I cannot change them. 

That is what I am. 

Love is the most important thing in my life, 

But I haven’t got a clue. 

I’m lost and crying. 

Dying. 

Now I’m lying. 

I want love and I want to give away love, 

And they say love isn’t love til you give it away. 

But what I want is more than that. How do you say? 

I guess it doesn’t matter how you say it. 

I’m bored of being alone. 

I hate my empty heart. 

I can hate myself more than the world can, 

But it’s the world that makes me hate myself. 

They ignore me; I hate myself. I wish I’d never spoken. 

They laugh at me; I hate myself. That stupid, stupid book. 

I find myself on my own; I hate myself. 

I brought this on myself. 

You are so, so confident. I feel like death. 

You have so much to say. I feel like a brick. 

I am not one of you because I feel so empty. 

I’m sitting in the dark. I feel like nothing. 

Rejection hurts me. It makes me hate myself. 

I am not one of you, because I cannot find my feet. 

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