Riotous Nafs
In this month of clemency, our Lord sent us a mercy in the form of a man who refused to fly into an unholy rage when his son was torn away from him in the midst of the anarchic disintegration that had seized a nation in the preceding hours. He has become an example for [...]
Be vigilant
One lesson that experience teaches me is that sincere repentance must always be followed by vigilance. In Ramadan we have the gift of being able to distinguish between two types of sins: those that come from within, from the nafs, and those that come from outside. When, in the midst of that blessed month, we [...]
Ramadan Mubarak
As we travel this road, God’s generosity becomes ever more apparent. My year between the two Ramadans was marked with periods of darkness and a great descent, troubling to my mind, and yet God’s mercy has been unending. The days of immense folly still return to the mind, often whilst bowing in prayer, causing an [...]
Hold fast to the rope of Allah
Hold fast to the rope of Allah and never take your faith for granted. These are not empty words. I have passed through those phases of great despair — despair at my own propensity to overwhelm myself with the same sins over and over — when a voice from within whispers, “There is no hope [...]
As the rot sets in
If you let the rot set in, it will, and it will gradually eat away at all that you have. This is the lesson that keeps on coming back to me. Last night I met a chap whose character shone beauty, as Allah wills. His manners were so appealing that at Isha the only du’a [...]
Random quotations
Random quotations keep on flowing into my mind: ‘they were not wronged, but they wronged themselves’ utmost amongst them. In this tragedy that it is my life — the perpetual oscillation between right and wrong curtailing my spiritual growth — every week seems to bring a new low and senseless despair. There came a sudden [...]
Past Burdens
‘You may have convinced everyone else Sara,’ sneered Sajeda, ‘but I’m not persuaded by this sudden transformation of yours.’1 Blocking the entrance to the prayer room, preventing Sara from entering, she raised her right hand and jabbed it towards her heart. Forlornly, Sara looked back at the one person she had always respected and trusted; [...]
The curse of addiction
There is a disease that I have harboured for the best part of my life. It accompanied me as a child, an adolescent and an adult; as a Christian, an atheist, an agnostic and a Muslim; and in times of both health and sickness. I would define it as a disease of the soul — [...]
As if into oblivion
Do you ever head off as if into oblivion, running, running as if it is the only way? Whenever I am ill, when my body is weak and feverish this seems to happen to me. Is it the assault of shaitan taking advantage of my lack of strength or is it just weakness of mind? [...]
The addictive grip of idleness
I have been reflecting quite a lot recently on what Christians refer to as ‘the addictive power of sin’, for I am one of those unfortunate souls that makes mistakes and repents only to repeat them again over and over. Faced with this phenomenon, I believe it is easy to appreciate how many Christians come [...]
Easter weekend
It is Easter weekend and I am staying in the Rectory with my parents. As both of them are vicars responsible for different churches, they are in and out all weekend. The station of the cross on Good Friday after the night vigil on Thursday. My mother has already returned from her service this evening, [...]
Mercy
Were we unable to sin, would we appreciate God’s mercy? Of course, His mercy surrounds us; our hearts which beat without us giving thought, the rain which falls from the sky giving life to dead earth, the air which expands our breasts. But I wonder. Were it not for our ability to sin and err, [...]
