The message that the government and media have been sending out for a few years now is that it is a crime to be concerned about injustices in the world.
And sure enough, many of us have become passive and acquiescent, terrified that we will be labeled radicals or worse. Forgetting, of course, that most of today’s celebrated sages and heroes were absolutely radicals in their time.
Who remembers that radical preacher from Nazareth?
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Oh dear, the Christmas Party has been cancelled. And we’re all to blame for not getting into the Christmas spirit in September and making up our minds. What a miserable team! Off to the gallows.
Oh dear, they’re running on Muslim time. Note, not “Islamic time” because that would imply punctuality, respect, good manners. Nope, but these modern sunnahs of Muslims, where you arrive an hour and a half after you said you would, because you don’t value your friends’ needs or wishes.
Our lad says: “What is your job anyway? All you do is press buttons all day.” He’s right.
Would you believe that in 2016, with so many means to verify the facts, people are still spreading spurious messages about E-numbers and western industrial conspiracies to smother everyone in pig fat, attributed to a Pakistani Doctor nobody is sure really exists, on behalf of a medical organisation nobody is sure really exists? It would take you approximately five seconds to determine that E100 is a food colouring derived from Tumeric. But, oh no, caring is sharing, and apparently a religious duty. Oddly enough, correcting yourself after the fact is never made a religious duty. We’ll just sit on that one, which is why this still circulates online, even a decade after it was first declared a hoax.
I note your concern about the minoritification of the British food industry by supine executives pandering to the whim of consumers, oblivious as they are to the threat songs about baked beans pose to our very survival in the apocalyptic clash of civilisation which consumes us daily. Now is not the time to be finger-drumming along merrily.
Yes, good, but, well, I think it’s safe to say that Heinz Beans with Pork Sausages and with Spicy Meatballs are not halal. So no pandering to vegetarians, I mean Jews, I mean Muslamics there. Of course if they choose to put the halal symbol on their vegetarian products to increase their share of the market, that’s entirely up to them.
Anyhow surely Muslims eating baked beans is a definite sign of successful integration and a cause for celebration. In fact I know that Muslim men enjoy jokes about flatulence as much the next man; oh what joy.
“Halal” purely means “permissible”. So rest assured that your loaf of Kingsmill has not been slaughtered prior to being sliced for your breakfast table. Spill the beans on top safe in the knowledge that they are, quite simply, legumes.
The temptation of those traveling the spiritual path is to yearn for and struggle to recreate those visions of the romantic past. The real challenge is to be a man of your time.
Why do people feel compelled to scribble out the photo of the woman on the health and safety notice in the mosque? The last one had her covered in black permanent marker. Now she’s wearing a red Biro niqab. Surely it’s time to put a beard, handlebar moustache, monocle and top hat on the gentleman pictured too.