British values

To me, British values are:

– To stop for pedestrians at Zebra Crossings;

– To pull over in busy traffic to let emergency vehicles through;

– To queue up in orderly fashion, even when nobody told us to;

– To be patient, even when inconvenienced, and then to say sorry to the person who inconvenienced us;

– To give up our seat on public transport for the elderly;

– To grumble about things which upset or annoy us, but then do nothing about it;

– To introduce ourselves to strangers by commenting on the weather;

– To believe everything we read, even when it is patently ridiculous or false;

– To apologise when it wasn’t our fault;

– To refuse to apologise when it was our fault;

– To give generously to charity;

– To fondly make fun of regional accents and stereotypes;

– And finally: to religiously mow the lawn.

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