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A few weeks ago I noticed a strange pulsating feeling in my abdomen. It was not painful, nor was it uncomfortable, so quite naturally I ignored it. On the fourth day, however, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to look my symptoms up, just in case.

Well it could be this, or it could be that, or it could be a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm which could be fatal, so you better get it checked out immediately, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. I’m not sure what doctors make of their patients Googling their symptoms — maybe it cuts their case load in half in ordinary circumstances, when good advice is dispatched without caps lock and a note of admiration.

I decided to probe a bit more as I’m not a great fan of visiting the doctor if I can avoid it. I read a few articles on NHS Choices and the Bupa website, and then wandered off to ponder on it. The first article mentioned ‘fatal’, but I could think of nothing worse than rushing off to A&E only to face the embarrassment of it being nothing but the vibrations of my expanding waistline.

Inwardly I felt sure that it was totally implausible that something so benign could be serious in any way. On the other hand, there was that other intermittent symptom of mine which I have ignored for a year — also due to possible embarrassment — which by contrast is extremely painful, but quick to pass. I decided to call the doctor, just in case. To my surprise, I was given an appointment the same afternoon and was asked to come straight after work.

Always the optimist, over the next four hours my mind began mulling over my imminent death. Now would be a good time to repent, I told myself, and if the doctor were to warn of something ominous, now would also be a good time to make my maximum exertion in the way of my deen, to make up for lost time, to make the end portion of my life my best.

As I made my way home that day, preoccupied with thoughts like these, I forgot all about the strange sensation in my abdomen. By the time I reached the consulting room at half-past six the symptoms had completely ceased. Sheepishly I explained that it was probably nothing, but I thought I should check anyway. The doctor agreed: it probably was nothing, but he would checked for my peace of mind. He found my aorta, but there was no sign of that fatal aneurysm. He listened to my heart, decided I should do a few blood tests and an ECG. Noted I seem to be getting a bit fat. He thought it was probably just a muscle rippling beneath my skin, or simply blood flowing through an artery.

Yesterday I got the results. My ECG showed that my heart was disgustingly healthy. All the blood results were perfectly fine, apart from the cholesterol which revealed that I have been eating too many cakes. Improve your diet, get more exercise. Avoid, possibly, taking medical advice from histrionic amateur physicians. I agreed.

Life, then, trundles on, and the planning for that inevitable event has somehow lost its great urgency. This is the way we live. The helpless soul tossed hither and thither by an almighty storm in the midst of the ocean is sure to cry out to his Lord as death approaches, but soon wanders on oblivious to the destroyer of pleasure as his feet settle back on dry land.

Shortly after I completed my studies at SOAS¹ a fellow student began a grave battle with cancer, from which she later died, may Allah have mercy on her soul. Later while I was a student in Stirling, the ordinarily healthy friend of a friend returned home from college one evening complaining of a headache; within hours, he had passed from this world, may Allah have mercy on his soul too.

In truth, we have no idea when the angel of death will come to take our souls. It could be this very night, tomorrow, next week, in a year’s time or forty years from now. Only One knows when our appointment is due.

So while my sudden contemplations over my fate were undoubtedly premature in that instant, they were not necessarily foolish. We may have no idea when death shall take us, but not a single soul could deny that this hour will come. Now would be a good time to repent, therefore. And given the ominous warning we have received, now would also be a good time to make our maximum exertion in the way of our deen, to make up for lost time, to make the end portion of our lives our best.

The Messenger of God — peace be upon him — said: “Remember often the destroyer of pleasure.”² The destroyer of pleasure is death.