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Dear Liberal Democrat campaigner,

I apologise if I was awfully rude when you tried to thrust your leaflet into my hands after the Prayer last Friday. I appreciate that you were only trying to enlighten me about the great work you have been doing for the past four years, but alas you follow in the footsteps of a band of men and women who used to bombard us with tired tracts about the mischief of the West for years and years. You have a right to campaign in whichever manner you see fit, of course. But, I wonder, would you not have second thoughts about standing outside a church after Family Worship on Sunday morning to campaign for your party? In an age in which the politicisation of Muslims if often lamented, it does seem odd that you should descend upon a place of worship at the very moment when many of us are trying our best to cast our gaze on beyond the heavens—a task already difficult for those of us who have but an hour to escape the office. I apologise for not being as receptive as I could have been, but on the other hand, you were lucky that I didn’t tell you where to stick your glossy leaflets.

Yours etc.